Posts Tagged sexism
While I’m lay here trying to get to sleep before I start my new job in the morning, I was swiping left and right in a dating app I’m a member off.
She looks nice, she looks nice, not keen on her, she lives too far away, she’s never that age!
I’ve learnt to have some simple rules on clicking the like or dislike button. If you’re in a similar situation, I’d recommend making a few of your own too, but here’s mine in no particular order.
1. They have to have more than 1 photo of them.
2. They should live within a reasonable distance of me.
3. I have to find something attractive in them, be it looks, personality, sense of humour etc.
4. They should say something about themselves in their profile, and not just leave it blank.
You might think I’m being awkward or picky, and maybe I am, but I’ve learnt the hard way that you can’t always trust what you see online. I’d been chatting with a woman on an app for a few weeks getting to know each other, when it came to swapping telephone numbers. A few minutes later I received a call from a number I recognised as hers and with my heart in my mouth, picked up the phone to answer and said hello.
The voice at the other end of the line wasn’t what I was expecting. It was a mans voice. Now I’ve been mistaken for a man on the phone before, even this week when phoning the police (someone had crashed into the side of the car I’d just bought and drove off), so I let the conversation continue. There was a short conversation (I can’t remember the exact words now), I think I said “you’re a man” if I said anything, but I hung up. The phone rang again, I think I picked up and he started to demand I pay him £50 a week or he’d out me (I’d already told “her” I was trans before the phone call). I told him I didn’t have any money to give him hoping he’d give up, but he said, ok, I’ll fuck you then, to which I replied “oh you can fuck right off!”
I was shaking. I didn’t know what to think at the time, but after a few minutes I rang the police and told them everything that had gone on, and they made an appointment to see me later that night.
I filled out a statement, the policeman said I’d have to give any previous names which I felt really uncomfortable about, and he said he’d look into it. I’d printed off screenshots of the profile in question and our conversations.
A few days later, they’d tracked him down, had a talk with him, which he claimed was just “a bit of a joke / laugh”. He begged the police not to tell his girlfriend or his work as he worked with kids or vulnerable adults I think and it would ruin his career. He wrote me a letter of apology, but I’m still thinking that was just to avoid any trouble. I let the police decide how to continue, and they were happy giving him a telling off and leaving it at that, but the police did say he only lived a stones throw away from me, which did make me give every man I saw in the area a second look and a wide birth for quite a while afterwards.
I confided in a good friend at the time about it and he was just shocked and wanting to know more. I’ve been thinking of how and whether I should blog about this ever since, and nows as good a time as ever before I completely disappears from my memory.
So, take my advice, be careful, if it looks to good to be true, it probably is, stay safe.
I’m commenting on the article linked here written by the journalist Sarah Dittum about another journalist / presenter Jenni Murray. At the weekend, Jenni Murray published a piece about transwomen not being actual women. There have been calls for her to be fired from the BBC over the article (Jenni Murray present BBC Radio 4’s Women Hour). I don’t believe that she should be fired though. I don’t agree with her on the piece she wrote, and wished she’d never written it / had it published, but it’s done now, and there’s nothing can be done to stop it. What this blog post is about is about more than one article I disagree with. Sarah Dittum writes defending Jenni Murrays piece and goes so far as to say calls for Jenni Murray to be fired as “institutional sexism”. I’m sorry Sarah, Jenni wrote a transpohobic article, there’s calls for her be disciplined, and you’re saying the people calling for her disciplining are being sexist? What planet do you live on? If the article had been about race or religion, she’d have been fired in a heartbeat by now, but because it’s only about transpeople, say what you want, that’s fine.
By the way Sarah, I’d have posted this in the comments section of your blog, but it appears that you’ve disabled any feedback to it. A blog is for discussion and debate, yet you seem scared by any opposing voices. Shame.
Anyone with half a brain (so that rules out Republican politicians) could see that this is what would happen under these so called bathroom laws. One commentator on the Pink News article said that if you’re a girl and you dress like a man then you should expect this. Bull Shit! She’s a teenager for fucks sake! You should think yourself lucky that her response was audible and not just a grunt.
I also think the voice of the person presumably holding the camera sounds like someone O know. Is that you Cathy Brennan?
What we see of this video is the girl being asked to leave as she didn’t have id, but we don’t see what lead upto the police arriving to question her. Did someone call the toilet police, was someone causing trouble, we’re the police already there. Hopefully more facts about this will come out in time.
How many more is it going to take before the government will make the right changes? This was only reported 2 hours ago on the 19th November yet she was found on the 13th. I know there was the Paris terrorist attacks and Children in Need on Friday, but a week for this to be reported?
I got my xbox 360 back late last week from having the cd drive be repaired / replaced, so treated myself to a new game in town yesterday. Ok when I say new, I mean Fifa2013 which is actually 3 years old, but when you consider it cost me £1.50 and the latest version Fifa2015 is selling for £45.00, I think I got a bargain.
So I finally got round to playing last night before bed. Chose career mode, picked my home team of Sunderland (that’s where I come from btw), put in my name and details and went on to buy the players I wanted. I managed to buy D’Gibreal Cisse for £6,000,000 (I’ve spelt that wrong I know), Thiery Henry for £3,000,000 and David Beckham for £300,000 but couldn’t sign an old wear side favourite Kevin Phillips as he was due to retire at the end of the season (super Kevin Phillips was a Sunderland legend in his time scoring 30 goals in a season).
So I carry on happily playing my game, but notice that all the references to me as the manager assumed I was a man. Now I know this game is 2-3 years old now, but still, EA should know that both male and female players have games consoles, and it’s just bad coding to do these kinds of things. Even Codemasters do it in their F1 series, and that’s with an actual female driver driving for Williams occasionally on the Friday (Suzie Wolf).
So come on games makers. Lots of other games have the choice to make your character male or female, even going back as far as Streetfighter 2 in the early 90’s, so you’ve really no excuse. Release a patch or make changes to your next release, but it’s about time their was gender equality in games.
“What are we going to do tonight Cathy?”
“The same thing we do every night Gallus, complain about patriarchy and offer no positive solutions.”
Some of these are really nice, not as dramatic a change as I was expecting, but I think her original image is deliberately a “blank canvass”, and you can see in the photo how uneven / imperfect her complexion is. That’s not me being nasty or anything just commenting, in fact she says that herself. I think my favourites are India, Ukraine, the UK, Romania & Chile although the UK one looks very aurbrushed. My least favourite are Argentina, United States, Australia & Germany. What did the USA think she is??? They’ve made her look so unhealthily skinny. The German photo is just badly done and I think they let a 7 year old do her make up in Australia.
A lot of the rest are very neutral, and have gone for a more natural look which I like, but you can’t really tell what they’ve done, I suppose that’s kinda the point though. I wonder if her image was used in an ad campaign how different the images would be again? I think it would all depend on what was been advertised I guess.