Posts Tagged dating
While I’m lay here trying to get to sleep before I start my new job in the morning, I was swiping left and right in a dating app I’m a member off.
She looks nice, she looks nice, not keen on her, she lives too far away, she’s never that age!
I’ve learnt to have some simple rules on clicking the like or dislike button. If you’re in a similar situation, I’d recommend making a few of your own too, but here’s mine in no particular order.
1. They have to have more than 1 photo of them.
2. They should live within a reasonable distance of me.
3. I have to find something attractive in them, be it looks, personality, sense of humour etc.
4. They should say something about themselves in their profile, and not just leave it blank.
You might think I’m being awkward or picky, and maybe I am, but I’ve learnt the hard way that you can’t always trust what you see online. I’d been chatting with a woman on an app for a few weeks getting to know each other, when it came to swapping telephone numbers. A few minutes later I received a call from a number I recognised as hers and with my heart in my mouth, picked up the phone to answer and said hello.
The voice at the other end of the line wasn’t what I was expecting. It was a mans voice. Now I’ve been mistaken for a man on the phone before, even this week when phoning the police (someone had crashed into the side of the car I’d just bought and drove off), so I let the conversation continue. There was a short conversation (I can’t remember the exact words now), I think I said “you’re a man” if I said anything, but I hung up. The phone rang again, I think I picked up and he started to demand I pay him £50 a week or he’d out me (I’d already told “her” I was trans before the phone call). I told him I didn’t have any money to give him hoping he’d give up, but he said, ok, I’ll fuck you then, to which I replied “oh you can fuck right off!”
I was shaking. I didn’t know what to think at the time, but after a few minutes I rang the police and told them everything that had gone on, and they made an appointment to see me later that night.
I filled out a statement, the policeman said I’d have to give any previous names which I felt really uncomfortable about, and he said he’d look into it. I’d printed off screenshots of the profile in question and our conversations.
A few days later, they’d tracked him down, had a talk with him, which he claimed was just “a bit of a joke / laugh”. He begged the police not to tell his girlfriend or his work as he worked with kids or vulnerable adults I think and it would ruin his career. He wrote me a letter of apology, but I’m still thinking that was just to avoid any trouble. I let the police decide how to continue, and they were happy giving him a telling off and leaving it at that, but the police did say he only lived a stones throw away from me, which did make me give every man I saw in the area a second look and a wide birth for quite a while afterwards.
I confided in a good friend at the time about it and he was just shocked and wanting to know more. I’ve been thinking of how and whether I should blog about this ever since, and nows as good a time as ever before I completely disappears from my memory.
So, take my advice, be careful, if it looks to good to be true, it probably is, stay safe.