I’m not going to try and defend her actions, as they’re indefensible, she went too far, but to go that far, I would guess this wasn’t a one off incident, and was over a long period of time to push her over the edge. That being said, it still doesn’t excuse her actions, but it can explain them.
But lets just look at your own reporting on this. You constantly refer to her using male pronouns, you use her previous name which is no longer her legal name. When someone gets married and changes their name to that of their partners, you don’t keep reffering to them using their previous surname, that’s just disresptful.
Disagree with being trans or don’t like it all you want, but nothing will get better when we can’t show each other just a little bit of mutual dignity and respect.
Going to her bos may have been the better option, but there’s the fear that her bos would sack her, and I don’t know what legal protections may be in place where she is. I’ve had issues where I’ve worked before, not with other co-workers, but with customers in a pub I used to work in. I’d just transitioned, a few months ago, I was getting hassle from these same customers at college where I was, and they came into my pub and caused problems for me. Reluctantly, I told my boss who gave them a bloody good talking and embarased them in front of their parents to boot, while I stood by looking and feeling all smug about it. I think I was 23/24 and they we’re 16-18 In my current (or now previous) job, some people had apparently been talking shit about me behind my back. I didn’t know anything about this, but my boss stood up for me and told the people that we’re talking shit to shut the fuck up, or words to that effect. A friend told me about this, and it made me feel glad that my boss and friend had stood up for me, but he was only doing what any good boss should do.
Sorry I’ve gone on a bit there, but I highly doubt this was just a bit of teasing between colleagues, but the USA is the home of Jerry Springer and any nutjob can get easy access to guns so what do you expect to happen.