When you’re a trans woman…


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  1. #1 by Nina on November 11, 2016 - 12:30 am

    It’s because the vast majority of trans women aren’t actually socialized as girls. Your “femininity” is inauthentic, and we can tell. Authentic “femininity” is a result of being conditioned into the desired “feminine” behaviors from birth. It’s unconscious behavior, and it sucks. Unlike you, we don’t have the luxury of simply choosing whether or not we want to “act feminine”. Most women who want to act “masculine” (read strong, brave, natural, willing to police her own boundaries) have to work through years of “feminine” conditioning to do that.

    So when someone who doesn’t need to struggle with all that conditioning comes along and puts on this show of femininity that is 1. completely fake and 2. making light of our struggle to be equal in the world, of course we’re mad. It’s a fucking minstrel show.

    And of course we’re mad when your idea of your “rights” means dehumanizing us and violating the boundaries we’re struggling to maintain for ourselves. Y’all have 0% empathy for women. None at all. Most of you don’t even acknowledge that socialization EXISTS. You don’t acknowledge the real concerns women have about the possibilities of conflicting rights, and how we could compromise to keep everyone safe. You don’t acknowledge what we’ve been through. It’s just all about the you-you-you. It doesn’t matter how many women you have to toss in the meat grinder, as long as your own voice gets heard.

    Because you STILL prioritize male voices over female voices. You just call it “trans women” voices versus “cis women” voices and act like it’s oppressive for us to want a private space to change, to pick our own sex partners, to have space for our daughters to compete in sports, even just to have accurate crime statistics!

    So, yes, absolutely. ENTITLEMENT. MALE PRIVILEGE. If you don’t understand why women are saying this, you don’t understand women.

    (Ha, and why did I even bother to write this, when you’re not going to read it. You’ll label it the words of a witch, er, “TERF”, and toss it away after the first sentence. Trans women like you will never understand us, because you just don’t want to. We’re only backdrop for you, we’re props, we’re validation. We’re not actually people. We’re goddamn “menstruators”.)

    • #2 by oopster74 on November 11, 2016 - 12:47 am

      Hi Nina, I read every comment submitted to my blog and approve them all as long as they’re not personal attacks on others.

      Listen, you don’t know me and I don’t know you. Making the assumption that I act in a feminine way because I’m trans is just that, an assumption. No, I wasn’t socialised as a girl as you put it, I was raised by a loving, caring family, told to stand up for myself, not take shit from anyone, work hard, be honest. If being raised as a girl puts you in what I’d call a “feminine trap” or box, then how do you think I felt being in the “masculine trap” expected to act a certain way too that didn’t fit who I was? It took me a long time on my own to figure out why I felt the way I did and what if anything to do about it. I felt as though I’d broken free of expectations when I came out, but now I just have different expectations on me, but I feel more comfortable in myself saying that’s not me. I don’t prioritise men over women or women over men. If you’re nice to me then I’m nice to you, because I really could do without the grief and if you knew me you’d see that I actually try to be a nice person.

      As for the TERF thing, the only Ines I really take issue with, it’s the Ines who are arseholes, but they’d be arseholes regardless if they were TERF’s or not so to hell with them.

      Tell me, as someone who is post op transsexual (to clarify- I’ve had all the relevant meds and surgery), where do you suggest I go to use the toilet, or to change at a sports facility, or when I’m seeing if the clothes I want to buy are the right fit? I have rights, you have rights, no Ines rights should be more “right” or important than someone else’s.

Please feel free to leave a reply, but please do not be abusive to anyone, and please try to edit your own swearing to the absolute minimum. Comments that contain abuse to other posters or people in general will not be approved, but will be considered for approval if reposted with the offending parts removed.

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