Archive for April, 2015
I have 2 words for this
Our daughter in college just announced her/hir intent to start taking Testosterone. What should we do?
Because GM won’t publish the sensible replies from me, here’s what I posted in reply.
My advice to the parents would be to love your child regardless, my advice to their child would be research, research, research. If you head down the path of transition, make very sure ths it’s the right path for you. If you’re not 100% certain then don’t do anything, research more to find who you are. As someone who is trans, it’s not something I’d wish on anyone, it’s a lonely road full of hazards along the way, and very little option to turn away from if its the wrong road for you.
I’m of 2 minds on this. On the one hand I’m happy that an event that I and many others view as trans-excluding will end this year, and sad for those that did attend or plan to attend in the future. I don’t think Lisa has given in to her critics on this, and from what I know of the festival I’m stunned and amazed that just one person organises the whole thing. If you want to keep Michfest (or whatever it may become), then surely new blood needs to come through the ranks to do that, but it shouldn’t all be heaped into the shoulders of one person, regardless of how that person may perform in that position.
I’m also a little happy, that Lisa hasn’t give-in to get critics, which I know seems odd as I’d be in that list. It shows that however wrong others thinks she may be, she’s stuck to her principles, and there’s not many people in the world left that do that.
Well as the title says, I’ve not been blogging much recently from my blog cabin, and that’s because I’m in gainful employment again! Yay for me! Last week I was down in Cheltenham for the induction week and met 7 others doing the same course. Most were going from client to client and only me and 1 other person were there as what’s called “live in care”. Now if you don’t know what is, it basically means I live in the person’s house that I’ll be caring for as for whatever reason, they need 24/7 care or supervision, their needs vary from simply needing a companion (no, not in a seedy way), to someone to help them wash, get dressed, make meals, shopping and anything else that most of us can do unassisted.
The last lady that I lived with earlier in the year sadly died when the next carer took over. I don’t think it was expected as she was making arrangements to vote in the coming elections by post. This affected me more than I thought it would last Wednesday when the company I’d worked for told me. She was old, had some dementia, and was a really nice lady.
I’m currently living with a couple and caring for a nice lady that was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s about 5 years ago. Now for professional and confidential reasons, that’s the limit of what I can say, but this condition is a truly cruel one in my opinion. The pes on with the condition may or may not be aware of it, but the family and friends around them are, and I’m not sure who that’s harder on.
What I’ve been taught about dementia and read, I know is almost to patronise or humour them. Don’t say no, what makes sense to you may not make sense to them, but what makes sense to them makes perfect sense to them, and I feel bad that I’m seemingly doing this, even if it’s with the best of intentions. I guess it’s similar to what my ex neighbour who drove the big police cars up and down the motorway said about driving – “act as though everyone else on the roads are idiots, and you’re the only sane one on the road”, and that would seem to make some sense here.
I can’t get my head around the exact legal terminology, and the laws in this instance would seem to differ from the ones I’m more knowledgeable about in the UK, but either this girl was raped or was willing (I can’t find definitive reference in the piece so I’m not going to speculate). I can’t see in the piece either if she had an abortion or some other way of ending the pregnancy, so I’m just going to say this, whether she was raped or she consented to having sex with I’m going to presume, a boy of a similar age, she end the pregnancy. The fact that we have this situation in the first place is a sad indictment of society. No one shouldn’t be judged for having underage sex, but kids shouldn’t be pressured into sexual relations either. There should have been someone she could talk to, but better still, this situation is one that could have been avoided if certain people put the people of the world first, and not their election campaigns. Kids need suitable education about the world around them at the relevant times and age groups, and not to just be told they can’t do something, as that instantly will make it exciting and something they want to do.
Fla. Stat. § 794.03. Unlawful to publish or broadcast information identifying sexual offense victim (“rape shield law”)
No person shall print, publish, or broadcast, or cause or allow to be printed, published, or broadcast, in any instrument of mass communication the name, address, or other identifying fact or information of the victim of any sexual offense within this chapter, except as provided in s. 119.071(2)(h)or unless the court determines that such information is no longer confidential and exempt pursuant to s. 92.56. An offense under this section shall constitute a misdemeanor of the second degree, punishable as provided in s. 775.082 or s. 775.083.
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Remember what the tories did under Thatcher this May 7th.
The Mirror a “newspaper” apparently, ran a story this morning asking why the NHS is “wasting” money on treating transgender kids, and asked it’s readers to vote on whether the NHS should be spending this money. At the time of writing this 4.42pm 9th April, the votes for yes we’re 67% yes against 33% no, and that’s pretty clear cut that most of the people who voted believe the NHS should be treating these kids.
So why do I accuse the journalist in this case of bad research? Well, she says that this money is wasted on this service and compares it to other services she views as a waste of money ie fat people getting gastric bands to help them lose weight so they don’t get diabetes as they’re apparently too lazy to exercise and too greedy to stop shoveling food down their throat – I’m overweight, have been as long as I can remember, I’m also diabetic and know that one can lead to the other and if someone is diabetic and it hasn’t been diagnosed / controlled for whatever reason, they can be overweight with type 2, and underweight with type 1. I’m still overweight, but since being diagnosed and treated, my weight has come down to a more manageable healthy level. As for women with small boobs, that can affect your mental well being. I don’t think that Josie Cunningham should have been given NHS treatment for bigger boobs just so she could be a glamour model though, if she needed them for that kind of job, she should have paid for them and claimed them as an expense (mind, just do a google search on here if you don’t know who she is, she’s the woman that was going to have an abortion just so she could go into the Celebrity Big Brother house – I’m pro-choice, but it has to be a good valid reason right?)
If these kids really are trans, then they’ll probably carry on in the system to some degree. If they’re not, then they’re going to get the help to discover why they feel the way they do. Ignoring the situation is only going to store up trouble for later on in life. Dealing with it now in a sensible way is best for everyone.
To put it another way. In the UK, the legal drinking age is 18, so until then it’s kinda a forbidden thing, and forbidden things are always more exciting, so we drink before the age of 18 down the park drinking 3 litre bottles of cidre with your mates after school and then legally binging in pubs on a weekend getting pist and causing all kinds of trouble. In countries like France and Spain, wine is served with most meals, it’s a cultural thing yes, but it makes it no big thing, so no binging as an adult.
I wish I could have spoken to someone, anyone when I was growing up as a kid. I spent over 15 years alone, scared, worried what people would think. Whether I would have transitioned at that age or not I don’t know, it’s was the mid 1980’s so highly doubtful that I would have, but to have been able to discuss my feelings and try to work out the whys would have been an amazing help. Instead I was limited to shows on TV, newspaper articles which we’re badly done and shaming.
We all want a better life for the next generation, so please don’t repeat the mistakes of the past.