Depression sucks.

Depression is more than just feeling down or unhappy. Right now, I should be asleep before I start my new job in the morning, but I have this overwhelming feeling of “I can’t be bothered”, and that seems like I’m being lazy, or I’m downplaying the situation, but that’s really how I feel right now, I just can’t be bothered. I’ve felt like this the night before I’ve made plans to go racing or meet a friend, I get excited by the prospect, I know it’s for my own good / I’ll enjoy myself, but I just lose the will or the motivation to do anything about it at the last minute, so much so that I end up feeling ill sometimes like I am now.

I know I should try again to get to sleep, get my act together and get my arse on the train down south later today, but I really just can’t be bothered right now.

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