Archive for July, 2014

Murdered by my boyfriend

I’m halfway through watching this BBC3 program. I know it’s about the main character’s murder, so it’s not going to come as a shock. You can see how her boyfriend is insecure from day 1, when he has no reason to be. He’s good looking, she adored him at the start, but you can see she’s scared of him. If you haven’t seen this already, I recommend you do, but I get the feeling it’s one of them things you can only watch the once. I’ll post more later once I’ve watched the whole. It’s still being shown on Three, and will be available on the iPlayer for a while longer. For those outside the UK, I’m sure there are “ways” you can see it too.

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I take it back. It was shocking. I’m fighting back tears right now. Reece got life, with a min of 15-20 years. I feel sorry for her, but the one I feel the most sorry for is her daughter, who saw it all and may grow up thinking that kind of behaviour is normal, when it’s anything but. She was 21 when she was killed, that’s no age to die. I don’t have words strong enough to describe how I feel towards her boyfriend.

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Sick of privilege

A week or so ago I had a twitter argument with someone over a job in London that had advertised for a position and we’re only considering people from a non-white background. Someone had complained that this was racist, which it is, but others had complained about him complaining about it. Let’s just get this one fact out there so there’s no misunderstanding, discrimination is discrimination regardless of what you want to call it. The job advertised was a trainee position, an apprenticeship I think for a newspaper / journalist position or similar, I can’t remember what right now, but that’s not important. A job is a job, and the colour of your skin, the sex / gender of your body, you’re sexuality, your religion* (in most cases), does not make you any more or any less qualified for a job (* someone who’s a Christian wouldn’t really bu suitable for a job as a Muslim Cleric, and a Muslim wouldn’t really be suitable for a job as a Christian Priest etc) Your suitability for any job, should be are you qualified for the position, how you interview for the position, and that’s it, nothing more, nothing less. Now this twitter argument I got into, I assume was with a black American male who was all for “positive-discrimination”, you know because of how black people we’re treated for a good couple hundred years in America. Well, how is that my fault how people 100+ years ago in another country we’re treated? I’m no more responsible for that than he is. I should be no more punished for something I didn’t do or have any possibility of changing, than he should be rewarded or helped for something that happened to someone else he never knew before he was born 100+ years ago. He made all these assumptions about me, and I could tell that he assumed that I also lived in the USA, that I was white (I am) and that life must be a bed of roses for me because I have white-privilege. I come from one of the most deprived areas of England, the north east. Our industry went under Thatcher’s government in the 1980’s. She took milk away from infant school children (and we wonder why our kids are too fat and unhealthy today). Our infrastructure is crumbling. Flash new houses sit where the shipyards used to be. The Vaux brewery has been reduced to rubble. The leisure centre in the heart of town has gone because the local council couldn’t afford it, but they could afford to build a new olympic size regular swimming pool. The leisure centre pool wasn’t somewhere you’d go for a serious swim, but it got kids interested in swimming and they could then head over to the other large swimming pool a bus ride away. All in all, my life has been no bed of roses. I left school at age 16 with bugger all qualification moving schools in the middle of my gcse year so had no chance of doing well.

So, why should someone get extra help just because of their skin colour? They shouldn’t. That’s making major assumptions about their life and the lives of other people that these kinds of decisions affect. Yes I’m a white woman, but I’m a white trans-woman, so I’m more of a minority than he is but am I asking for extra privileges because of that? No. I just want people not to be dicks and treat each other properly, then we wouldn’t have half the problems we do in this world.

So, am I sick of privilege? What fucking privilege? Just quit your moaning and get on with your life, as you’ve only got one.

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HRC taking on Michfest

HRC taking on Michfest

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Female Socialisation

Kind, cruel, powerful, amazing, sad.
I wonder what the male equivalent of that is.

giagia

You’re so pretty.
You’re adorable.
You’re beautiful.
You’re my beautiful little girl.
Sweet little lady.
Careful! Don’t get hurt!
Play nicely.
Don’t get dirty.
Stop that.
Be more ladylike.
Don’t eat too much.
Shhhh.
Quiet.
Girls are duuumb!
Girls have cooties.
No girls allowed.
Hahahahaha! You have boobs!
Look at her boobs!
Boobs!
Boobs!
Boobs!
Boobs!
Ewwwww. Periods are disgusting.
You’re disgusting.
That’s gross.
Hahahahaha! You’ve got your period.
Boobs!
Let me touch them!
I want to touch them!
Disgusting.
Slut.
You’re gross.
Whore.
Let me touch it.
Bitch.
I only want to touch it.
She’s a slut.
Virgin.
Slut.
Virgin.
Slut.
You slut.
Show me your tits.
Get ’em out!
Slag.
You want it.
Take it.
Have it.
Swallow it.
Slut.
Whore.
Stupid bitch.
Fat bitch.
You’re not quite right for this.
I’m not sure you can do it.
Tits.
Cunt.
I just want to fuck you.
Come on…

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A simple but effective explanation of genderism.

Oh my God! What utter bullshite!

The Prime Directive

Gendetrender, a great blog dedicated to the anti-genderist cause, wrote a simple explanation of what genderism is and why we should oppose it.

Genderists (social conservatives, religious fundamentalists) believe the opposite: that sex-roles of male domination and female submission are biologically innate (“biological essentialism” “gender essentialism”).

Trans-Genderists are a sect of genderists who believe cultural sex-roles (male domination, female submission) are so central to the human endeavor that non-compliance is a birth defect to be treated by medically and surgically disguising the biology of human reproduction (sexual dimorphism) in cases of “incongruence”. Further distinguishing trans-genderists from genderists is that transgenderists claim non-believers infringe on their human rights simply by non-believing.

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A radical feminist plan for the dissolution of gender

Sorry for having to reblog, but couldn’t see a reply option anywhere.
From what I’ve seen in the past few years, there are Radical Feminists, and there are Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminists. The easiest way to think of them is the one is the Roman Catholic church, and the other is the Church of England that broke away because they had a falling out over some things.
It is funny / hard to understand how the TERF’s think that transwomen uphold stereotypes of gender, while trying to force stereotypes of gender onto those same transwomen. They don’t view transwomen as women, no, they’re men, yet they don’t view transmen as men either, but they’re not “woman-enough” to attend a conference. To me that simply says they don’t want any trans person there, for whatever reason that may be.

Sarah Ditum

Hey, it looks like radical feminism has got this sexism thing licked! All we have to do is effect a total social transformation in which gender as we know it will completely cease to exist, and then we can get on with our egalitarian business.

Now, I’m not against ambitious projects, but it may seem to some of you that this is an almost impracticably gargantuan aim, which is why I’m pleased to report that the Radfem 2012 conference has already got the fundamentals of gender smashing in place. Here’s how it goes:

  1. Establish a woman only space to discuss the dismantling of patriarchal culture
  2. Ensure the women in that space are restricted to “women born women living as women
  3. Watch patriarchy tumble in the face of rigorously policed gender identity!
  4. Er, really?

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Gas Mark Six

I’m sorry that you’ve experienced what you’ve described. His behaviour as you you describe is totally unnaceptable and only thinking of himself. The way you describe him though, he sounds more like a transvestite / cross dresser than a transsexual woman. I’ve met tv’s / cd’s similar to him, and while they we’re nice enough people, they do tend to rely on steretypes.
I’m a transsexual woman. I don’t live my life according to stereotypes, I live it how I think is best for me. I mainly wear jeans and t-shirt (ok I’m wearing a long maxi-dress at the mo’, but I’m melting in this current heat, and it’s actually quite cooling – the window is wide open and the ceiling fan on full blast and I’m still melting though).
Whoever you’re partner is, unacceptable behaviour is unnaceptable behaviour. I know it’s easy for me to say and for you in hindsight, but you should have gotten out of that situation long ago (I have been in what might be considered an abusive relationship, I’m not making excuses for him when I say he had certain mental health issues, but maybe trying to compare it to someone who develops an Alzheimer like condition who can get abusive, they don’t mean it, but it’s still abuse).
You have my sympathy on this. Might I suggest you set up a group like the kind you we’re looking for at the time to help others in a similar situation.

naefearty

Here’s something I wrote when I was asked to speak alongside Sheila Jeffreys, who was speaking about her book “Gender Hurts”, about how transgenderism harms women. In the end, I didn’t say all this, but for those of you who are interested, here it is..

“For the longest of time I told no-one. It is only in the past few years that I have found the words to describe my experience. Thank you, Sheila Jeffreys, and the Radical Feminist community of bloggers for the gift of words.

I used to have an online friend (also a partner of a man who thought he was a woman) who likened the experience of being partnered to a transgender to the frog who is put into the pot of water and the heat gradually turned up till cooked – a deliberate programme of de-sensitisation as each limit is compromised or ignored, and each line…

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