It’s one year this week (March 30th) that I was taken into hospital after having a heart attack. I might’ve said “suffered a heart attack”, but I’ve had more painful trapped wind. That’s not me trying to be all big about something very serious, in fact quite the opposite. It scares me to think that it didn’t hurt, I didn’t grasp my chest in pain thinking I was going to die, I had to be told I was having a heart attack. Back in December of last year, I was getting similar pains. I was driving at the time and really starting to worry because what if it was happening again? I wanted to get back home ASAP, get some rest, a cup of tea before deciding whether to ring for an ambulance or something. 30 mins after getting home, that’s exactly what I did. The paramedics got there within minutes (like you’d hope they would thankfully), and checked me over. They could tell I’d had a heart attack (or MI as they call it) but I wasn’t having one now. As a precaution they were going to take me to A&E anyway to get me checked over. I was moved round a few times, had blood taken, ecg’s done, and was lead to believe they’d be keeping me in overnight. At 11.30pm, the nurse came in, told me everything was fine and I could go home now. I waited for a while expecting them to sort transport (they’ve done that before so it wouldn’t be unusual). The nurse came back and wondered why I was still there, so I mentioned the transport and got a “oh we can’t do that”, which felt more like a “oh, we’re not doing that for you!”. Now take into account it was late at night, I’ve had one heart attack already, I felt like I was having another. I’m on that many meds I rattle, it was pissing down with rain, I had no cash on me, no friends or family I could call or would want to disturb at that time of night, and I had no idea how to get back home to the place I’d only just moved into that week. 2 hours and 6 miles later I walked throughout front door soaking wet, aching feet, feeling worse than when I called the ambulance. I mentioned all this to my heart surgeon on my next appointment and he just referred to them as “Bastards!”, something I wouldn’t have expected, but I said I had a few similar things to say at the time.
In the past 12 months, I’ve felt better, I’ve felt worse. I’ve lost 5kg without trying it seems (I do really need to lose the weight), and put it all back on and more over Xmas (the weight loss and gain is down to the meds I think), and managed to lose 2.5kg in the past few weeks by just being sensible with my food and diet, but I’m getting heart twinges and it does worry me, which can’t be helping the situation. I need to try to relax, drink more tea instead of Pepsi, make sure to get gentle exercise, get my Kinnect thing setup with the exercise program, work on my model train layout to keep me occupied and relaxed, and not let things get to me, whether I can do anything about them or not. I think I’ve still got to put me and my health first for a while longer, which seems selfish, but I’d like to still be here this time next year.