Comment is free How a feminist debate was derailed by asking all men to leave

Comment is free How a feminist debate was derailed by asking all men to leave

The above link (from my point of view, it might move after I post this) is a about the screening of this film about feminism in the 80’s (according to the news report).

The showing was sold out twice, and had to move to bigger locations as a result, twice, but when it came to the actual screening of it, one of the commentators that was to take part in the after film debate, asked all the men to leave.  The men left, along with some women who they may have been with, and some that left out of principal (again, this is according to the news report).

The organisers have since apologised, and said it wasn’t them that asked, but one of the participants on the panel.  I’m thinking, that they should have said to that panelist at the time, that all we’re welcome, it was a paid screening, and I don’t think anyone was there for entertainment purposes, it was there to watch a documentary and discuss the issues afterwards.

Let’s just assume for a moment, that the organisers we’re fine with men being there.  Why didn’t they say to them “no no, stay and watch the film and take part in the discussions”.  Why is it reported that only one of the panel requested the men leave, and no one else on the panel say anything against this?

If, (and this is my cynical mind at play here, but I’ve no doubt I’m not the only one to have thought this), the organisers didn’t want any men there, why did they sell tickets to those men?  It would have been against the law to discriminate and say “no men allowed” in the promotional material, but not against the law to ask that men not attend, a subtle difference I know, but the situation would have probably been that most men would have respected this request, or questioned it.

While radfem groups are ranting on about women-only spaces (those same spaces exclude transsexuals either mtf or ftm), they’re still complaining about men-only spaces.  Most men-only spaces, are places like golf clubs etc., and they are having to open their doors upto women as that’s not only the right thing to do, but it’s also illegal to discriminate on the grounds of sex in the UK, and has been for over 40 years.

There are certain things that men mainly do, that women don’t want to, and vice versa, but no one should be prevented from doing those things without good reason.

I race radio control cars for example.  I know of 3 or 4 other women that do this 2 younger, and 2 older than me.  We’re not discriminated against, and we’re as good or as bad as anyone else.  Yes there’s banter, but that’s because for the most part, we’re all friends doing a hobby we love together.

I’m also a full time live in carer for an ex of mine.  When he was looking for a second carer, (to take the burden off me a little), he did ask if he could have a male carer, so he could do “man stuff” with, ie go to mens-events etc. but, he can say he wants a male carer in any advert he does, but he can’t specify that you HAVE to be make, as that would not be legal.  He’s taken me to the local men’s group with him as his carer, but he asked if it was alright if I was there as I’m his carer, and no one had any objections to that.  I did my best to just sit there and “melt into the background”, but felt uncomfortable and like I was invading their space – they all made me feel 100% welcome none the less.  On my own, I attended a local bi & lesbian women’s group a few years ago.  They do allow transwomen to attend, but only post-op transwomen ie those that have had lower surgery.  I have had this surgery in 2006, well before the meeting I attended, and up until the point I realised they didn’t allow pre-op transwomen, I was felt comfortable, and was beginning to feel part of the group.  When I did realise, I suddenly felt very uncomfortable about it, but didn’t say anything at the time so as not to spoil the atmosphere for anyone.  I took a long hard think about it later that night, and wrote the group a polite email regarding my thoughts about their membership policies, and that while they we’re the way they we’re I wouldn’t feel comfortable attending future meetings.  They replied saying they we’re sorry that I felt, and understood.

A few years before that, me and a few other transpeople, started a transsexual support group in the area, that was specifically for transsexual people.  Our only membership requirement was that you self identified as being transsexual, whether that was pre-op, non-op, or post-op.  We felt that if you came to the group and didn’t consider yourself to be transsexual, you wouldn’t attend further meetings, we wouldn’t be the ones telling you that you couldn’t, and that worked for the entire time the group existed.

There is another group, less local to me, that I am considering attending.  It is a feminist group that welcome “all self identifying women”.  The only reason I haven’t attended so far is money and work commitments, but this group, has welcomed me on their yahoogroups page, they have said that I will be more than welcome, and I do want to start going when I am able to.  If I later find out it’s not for me, then I will stop going.

So, the point I’m trying to make, I’m not exactly sure, except to say that equality means all people being equal, and no one is truly equal until everyone is equal.


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  1. #1 by aerynxv on January 2, 2013 - 10:43 pm

    Feminism, from the perspective of this observer, has NOTHING to offer me. Moreover, I care little to nothing about womens health or reproductive issues. Put simply, we exist in a zero-sum universe, and the only part of the pie that matters is MINE. For any transwoman to even bother pissing about with feminism is to sleep with the enemy. If others feel differently, let them go knock themselves out sucking up to women. I confine my activism to providing excellent health care to people who most need it and can least afford it. That’s why God loves me, because I’m BETTER than any politico, lesbian or otherwise!

    • #2 by oopster74 on January 2, 2013 - 11:59 pm

      It’s only the radfems at the extreme end that are the issue. Most “regular” feminists have ZERO issue with trans people, although I’m yet to attend my first meeting of my local-ish feminism meeting, but that’s due to time, money and work constraints.

  2. #3 by aerynxv on January 6, 2013 - 11:00 pm

    I’m waging a campaign to dry Nicky Chaleuphone from the interwebs. I have been waging a low-level war against the radfems since June. Since this issue will never go away, the mission objective is to drive them to rabid frothiness. It will spill over into their personal lives, alienating their off-line support network. The ultimate goal is to compromise their health mentally, emotionally, and physically. It’s quite fun; I’m sure Catty Brenan utilizes the same tactic.

    Speaking of the devil, she was married to another woman, which ended with acrimony. If anyone has any info on who she is, I would like to offer her the lucrative opportunity to share damaging secrets with me.

Please feel free to leave a reply, but please do not be abusive to anyone, and please try to edit your own swearing to the absolute minimum. Comments that contain abuse to other posters or people in general will not be approved, but will be considered for approval if reposted with the offending parts removed.

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